Customs

We are so thrilled to have you share this special day with us as we start our lives together as husband and wife.

We hope this guide will give you some understanding of the customs you will witness during the ceremony on our wedding day. We will be using our jewish names, Moishe boruch & Miriam, throughout the ceremony and this guide.

We can’t wait to celebrate with you all!

  • The wedding ceremony takes place under an open canopy called a Chuppah, which represents the home that Moishe Boruch & Miriam will create together.

    It is open on all sides to welcome visitors from near and far into Moishe Boruch and Miriam’s home with unconditional hospitality.

    The simplicity of the structure serves to remind us that material things alone do not determine the happiness of the home.

  • The veiling ceremony, or Hinumah takes place prior to the marriage ceremony just before Miriam reaches the Chuppah.

    Moishe Boruch looks at Miriam and then veils her face. This signifies that his love for her is for her inner beauty, and that the two are distinct individuals even after marriage.

    It is also said that the veil is to ward off evil spirits from the bride as she walks down the aisle, until she is under the protection of her new husband and home.

  • The ceremony originates from two parts, Erusin (Betrothal) and Nissuin (Marriage). Until medieval times, the two ceremonies would take place up to a year apart, during which time the couple prepared for marriage and the bride remained in her parents’ home.

    The constant threat of persecution and the fear that the couple, might, as a result, become separate during the year of betrothal, meant that the ceremonies were eventually merged and performed on the same day.

Betrothal

  • Two cups of wine are used during the ceremony. The first accompanies the betrothal blessing after which, Moishe Boruch & Miriam share wine from the same cup.

    By sharing the wine, they hope to halve the bitterness and double the sweetness of their future life together.

    The first blessing is on the fruit of the vine, and the second blessing is the betrothal blessing, symbolising that they are both still individuals as well as their mutual commitment to their upbringing and to one another.

  • The first stage of the ceremony is complete when Moishe Boruch places a ring on Miriam’s right forefinger, the finger she would normally use to acquire a possession.

    The ring should be made of plain metal to impress the singleness of the moment, and that the marriage will be one of simple beauty.

    In a Jewish wedding, the ring is much more than a mere symbol, it is an integral part of the ceremony.

    It is the giving of the ring, and not any blessing said, that makes the couple a man and wife.

Marriage

  • The Ketubah is the traditional Jewish marriage contract, which details the bride’s rights in marriage and sets out the groom’s principal commitments to ensure the happiness of his bride.

    The Ketubah comprises a custom-design and personalised wording to reflect Moishe Boruch & Miriam’s commitment to each other. It is signed, witnessed and publicly read out in Hebrew.

  • The second part of the ceremony, Nissuin, comprises the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) and the celebration of the new married couple.

    The Sheva Brachot begins with a blessing on a second cup of wine to make a clear separation between this part of the proceedings and the earlier Erusin.

    The first blessing is, again, on the fruit of the vine, and the next four blessings focus on the (2) creation of the world, (3, 4) humanity and (5) continuity.

    The sixth blessing is for the bride and groom, highlighting the importance of both passion and friendship in marriage.

    The seventh and final blessing is a prayer that joy and happiness will continue throughout Moishe Boruch and Miriam’s lives together.

    At the conclusion of these blessings, Moishe Boruch & Miriam sip wine from the same cup.

  • After the Sheva Brachot, Moishe Boruch will break a glass beneath his right foot. This is an ancient custom dating back to the 12th century, symbolising the losses suffered by the Jews over the centuries, especially during the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem.

    It now has many different interpretations:

    • It is irreversible and permanent and therefore symbolises the fragility of life and the hope that the marriage should last forever.

    • Others say it has roots in superstition when people broke glasses to scare away evil spirits from such lucky people as the bride and groom.

    In Jewish tradition we break the glass to symbolise that crises are a part of life, and that from difficult times we grow stronger.

    No matter what the interpretation, the breaking of the glass is an important part of any Jewish wedding and marks the beginning of a new life together.

    One final interpretation is, that the sound of the glass breaking is also a signal saying:

    “Let the party begin”!